Monday, January 14, 2008

The Lean Cuisine Story

So, here is a true story about my wild and crazy Friday night last week.

Last Friday I went to the movie theater after work to see "The Bucket List" with Venessa, Dani, and Nicole. (By the way, it was a good movie and it has an excellent new song "Say" on the soundtrack by John Mayer) On my way home I stopped by Smith's because someone told me I might find the new book club book ("The Book Thief") there for only ten bucks. Well, they didn't have the book, but they did have Lean Cuisines on sale. I like to take Lean Cuisine or Healthy Choice meals to work because they are super cheap and I'm monitoring my calories more now that I'm in full training mode for the marathon. Anyway, I filled up my little basket with a variety of Lean Cuisines and headed to the self check-out. It was while I was scanning and bagging that I looked over and noticed two couples staring at me with pity/amusement on their faces. I then realized how ridiculous and pathetic I must have looked...alone at the neighborhood Smith's on a Friday night at 8:30 stocking up on Lean Cuisines (aka the brand of choice for single, weight-conscious females everywhere). I just started laughing because I realized how ridiculous and pathetic I must have looked to those people. I like that I can laugh at myself because it makes everything so much more fun.

Oh, and lest I come off as misleading, I actually do own my own reflective vest but it is for running purposes only and I have never taken it with me to work.


Ash & Jon said...

Ok. So you are officially the funniest person in the world! haha

Anonymous said...

Annie, as I can see from your posting as the “Safety lady” you have excellent taste in clothing. The jacket really helps to bring out the yellow in your skin, an obvious side effect of too many lean cuisines. As I am sure you know, Amber is on the hunt for her eternal soul mate and has been for some time now. The number of first dates she has managed to arrange is a respectable 2.78 per week average. Not too bad for a mechanical engineer who has a tendency to put her dates to sleep with her endless mumblings about math problems she did in high school. Anyway, the real problem has become the all-important second date. For all her efforts she has been unable to get anyone to take her out more than once. As I have watched this pathetic drama unfold I have wondered to myself what the problem could be. She’s smart, cute, doesn’t smell bad, great personality and she hardly eats unless it’s a double bacon burger. What could it be? After much thought, scripture study, two cokes, a twinky and even some prayer I deduced the reason for this previously unexplained tragedy. It’s that ugly beanie cap she wears. You must explain to her that the beanie cap is keeping her from finding that one man that can make her happier than any engineering change order. I don’t care how cold it gets, or how cool she thinks it is. It must go into the trash, or better yet the shredder so no homeless person digs it out and wears it. She would have a better chance getting a date with your ugly little dog wrapped around her head. Please, I am begging you. Sneak into her room after she has left for work……no wait that won’t work she doesn’t get to work until 10:30. Wait for her to fall asleep in front of the TV Friday night and sneak in there and get that hat. If you really care for Amber you will do this thing, and you will do it now.
a concerned friend